I remember now....

There are days when I go looking for a memory that seems to have disappeared. I look in all the usual places. I slam mental drawers and I throw small little tantrums. Silent ones. I scream (on the inside) and sulk (on the outside) whilst examining all the crevices and cracks I may have overlooked. I move furniture, I huff and I puff.

There are days when I stumble upon a memory I never even knew went missing. I stare in disbelief. I frown and then smile. Like a long lost friend, I try and make sense of the differences that my newer (older) perspective gives me. Why did this memory become dusty, cobwebbed and unfamiliar?

There are days when I relive a memory as though time travel really existed. I'm there. I can smell it. I can taste it. I can feel it.  It's happening now.

There are days when it's all so real I cry the tears that were shed the first time.
There are days when it's all too hazy so I store it away for a clearer moment.

There are days when I'd swear time stood still and there are days when all I feel is the age I have become in contrast to the age I have clung to.

I look in the mirror at the little girl who is now allowed to wear what she pleases and issues her own curfew. The little girl stares back at me. Waiting.

I want to say to this little girl "remember everything" and yet I know that's not necessary.
One day (when she grows up) she'll find all the memories she was looking for.